First post on 2012


As every one of you knows, today is the first day of year 2012 which also dated as 1.1.2011. In this particular day, I spend my whole day in grandparents' house even right now to accompany my lovely respected grandpa who is suffering nowadays. As a grandchild, I wish to do whatever I can to fulfill him. I don't wish him to feel regret before his last breathe. I just want to sacrifice myself towards him. Without him, which can directly means that without my daddy, and it will follow by without me, myself. Thus, I have to spend all my valuable time to him by take care and look after him. For now, people use to say that a new year, a new resolution, but for me right now, everything I wish is just pray hard hard till the last day he gasps for air. I want him to stay longer with us but by looking at him pale and weak face, this just makes our tears rolling. We just couldn't accept and face the fact. Can you imagine it, last 2 weeks he still can walked and talked to us, but  right now everything is just opposite, he just can lying on bed and don't even wish to talk to us. He never wants to eat and drink as well. Perhaps he is giving up on himself? However, we as his next generation wouldn't give up on him. We still do anything as we can to make his life better and better. Every time when we ask him to have some foods to fill his stomach or drink some waters, he will spontaneously reject and says, “I am suffering and none of you will know.” This situation makes us feel so bad towards him, but as common knowledge, we can’t survive without foods and waters. Therefore, we used to force him at least to drink some waters to fill his thirst. Okay, I seriously don’t feel like mentioning anymore, it makes my tears roll. All I can do now is just pray and pray and still pray he can stay stronger than diseases. We never give up on you; you can’t give up yourself as well, grandpa! Remember, we still love you forever and ever. Once you are my grandpa, you are always my grandpa. We will give you support all the way you are! ♡ 

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